September 14, 2010

Shorn Girl's Lament

I got a new haircut.  I'm definitely on the fence about it.  Sometimes I think it looks awesome, but most days that's not the case.  A few of you from out of state have asked to see photos.  You can look at the photos, (taken on the awesome webcam) but you have to agree to read my random thoughts as well.

So, I wanted to look like Winona Ryder, but I just don't have her thick eyebrows.  The hair stylist kept cutting and cutting and I trusted her (maybe a little too much) because she's a professional and I was paying her (waaaay too much).
I left the place feeling like a shorn sheep.  I love short hair.  Love, love, love it.  Want-to-marry-it-and-grow-old-together-love-it-so-much.  But this is maybe too short.
Plus, there is a shocking amount of hairless space behind my ear.  Does this concern anyone else, or just me and Joe?  She left these long pieces in the back.  "To create more of a look," she said.   From the front it looks like I'm cultivating rat tails back there.

Just as a side note, I do not blame the hair stylist for this cut.  It stems from my complete inability to articulate exactly what I want my hair to look like and also a crippling fear of telling someone they are doing something I don't like.  I just show up with a picture and let the woman interpret it how she will.  I'm a bit of a mute in the barber's chair.  I just smile and nod and try to look agreeable.

This is what I look like when I wake up. (minus the makeup and earrings)
When I go out I want to wear a shirt that says, "You don't have to pretend to like this haircut, I'm not even sure I do."  That way my friends won't feel obligated to make up compliments that put their eternal souls at risk for lying.

In the end, my motto is this:
Even the worst haircut improves with a smile,
and looks ten times worse if you do this.
Do not respond to this post by telling me how beautiful I am (it's a knee jerk reaction, you must fight it)  Just have a good laugh, because I'm cracking myself up over here!


  1. I found this post EXTREMELY amusing. I love your sense of humor!!!

  2. Thanks Nicky, I had fun writing it and I'm glad you like it.

  3. I like the pillow in the background. No seriously, I do. And, your haircut isn't even mildly awful. I wouldn't give up on short hair quite yet.

  4. LOL. You're so funny. Personally, I'm not a fan of short hair on girls or long hair on boys. All my nephews have long hair and I wish they'd all get haircuts before I take pictures of them :). My hair has never been much shorter than my shoulders.
    I do think your face is beautiful, am I allowed to say that? But not in the last picture :).
    You could always just tell people you're growing back your hair after your cancer treatments!

    Oh, and re: the hair behind the ear, I'm pretty sure mine would look like that too if it was cut that short (probably worse since I'm blonde). I wouldn't worry about it!

  5. Hair-cuts gone askew should be documented. I am so glad you did it for us! I love you. Hair grows; that is my favorite part about it.

  6. So one time I ran out and got my haircut at this little random place. It ended up being a mullet with a bowl cut on top. I cried for weeks (I was pregnant at the time) and then started laughing because it was so terrible. Laugh away, hair grows back.

  7. I like you Whit, I like you a lot.

  8. Whitney I just don't know what to say. Except remember that haircut I got in college that made me look like a boy?

    I love you. Call me when you're not off having adventures around the big city. (just don't call before 1pm your time)

  9. So I know I already commented, which makes me look like I don't have a life for coming back to your blog twice in one day to comment again...but remember, I don't have a life. Anyway, the worst haircut I ever had was before my freshman year of college and I asked my sister to make my hair look like Meg Ryan's in "You've Got Mail,"--failed miserably. My Freshman year of college was almost the worst year of my life and I blame it all on the haircut. The two worst years of my life I blame on an ex-husband! :)

  10. you rock short hair! and i think the just-woke-up should be your fb pic.

  11. It's nothing cute earrings and prenatal vitamins can't fix. At least you're adventurous. I got the same haircut I've had since high school on Sat. and no one noticed. I could always fed ex you a loverly wig or hair extensions from the beauty shops in Memphis. You like the velcro kind or the weave kind?

  12. Whitney, I cried i laughed so hard! only because been there, done that x10. My husband was just remembering the truly awful cut I got a week after Caitlin was born. I felt so fat and ugly anyway and I came home with NO hair at all in the back. It was shaved so short it was like a military buzz. I wanted to be Demi Moore (as in "Ghost"). The part that really made me laugh though, was the part about sitting compliantly in the chair and just nodding as they shave my head. We are two strong-willed women, why are we so intimidated by stylists? thanks for making me laugh. p.s. I came on from Rachel's blog to see pictures of Ellie. She is so adorable, looks just like her mama.

  13. Hi there,

    I came across this post whilst moping and googling "too short haircut." I have to say, after days of whining to friends and sleeping in baseball hats (seriously!), your blog post was the first thing to really make me feel better. Of all the women lamenting short haircuts on the internet, I think you're the first one I've seen who actually had a haircut I would call short (when you're trying to acclimate yourself to something so short barrettes won't stay in, someone whining about a bob is not comforting). Your attitude is pragmatic and positive, and you're absolutely right on the smile.

    Thanks for putting things into perspective!

  14. Thanks for the comment. I'm glad my post helped you out. You'll be happy to know that my hair grew out quickly and I've had 3 haircuts since then. All much less traumatic.