Making It Here

Anatomically Speaking

2012-02-18T10:00:00.001-05:00

Today when I was getting Ellie dressed she noticed a couple dots on her chest. I told her what they were. There followed a conversation in which I confirmed her suspicion that indeed, Daddy, Mommy, and Baby Wren all have nipples.

But no, honey, Elmo does not.

This girl is just too much! She makes us laugh every day.

Wren at 6 weeks

2012-02-16T23:26:00.000-05:00

This tiny babe is seriously adorable. Her chubby face just kills me and I love to see her bright eyes peeking over someone's shoulder. I can just tell already that she is going to be such a sweet girl. A heart melter to be sure. My instinct says that she'll be slightly less spicy than her older sister, but I guess time will tell.

Had to include a crying photo, because honestly, 6 week old Wren spends a lot of time crying. Poor girl. We are trying our hardest to get her gas issues figured out. Hopefully there is less crying in store for the coming weeks, because wow, the girl has got a set of lungs.

Also, notice the photo of my grandma holding Wren? She was out visiting when Wren turned 6 weeks old and we all had such a great time together. I thought it would be wonderful to get a photo of Great Grandma with the two girls, but Ellie had other plans. She spent this time running around and screaming bloody murder in our apartment lobby. That's how much she did NOT want her picture taken. Ah well, maybe next year.

Tiny baby hand - is there anything sweeter?

Oh, I thought you should know that I've made peace with the lack of photos for Wren.

The ones you see here are really the ONLY good pictures of her at this age. But that's OK, because what I lack in the ability to photograph, I make up for by being a more sure-footed mother this time around.

The first time around there were more photographs - but there were also more tears, more fears, more doubts. Wren may not have a million pictures, but she's got a mother who is more peaceful and comfortable in this role. There's been some growth in the last couple years and it is good to see. Anyone else have this experience, or am I the only person who literally lost her marbles with the first child?

Wren at 3 weeks

2012-02-13T08:00:00.002-05:00

So you know how the first child in a family has a million baby pictures, and then the younger children have substantially less? I mean, if you're child number four, you are lucky to even appear in the background of family photos.

Well, it turns out that the reason for this drop in documentation has nothing to do with the fact that the parents are just "over it" - which is the conclusion I had previously drawn. Been there, done that, seen a baby grow, don't need a billion pictures of it. Nope. You see, I'm just as interested in Wren's every little development as I was in Ellie's. It's just a logistical nightmare trying to photograph every moment of your younger children's lives. Most days I struggle to simply get all of us fed and most of us bathed. Forget picking up a camera to photograph the littlest beauty.

That said, I do still try my best to document milestones. Here is how 3 week old Wren usually looks:

Serious. Hungry. Thinking about food.

Sometimes she cracks a smile in her sleep and it just kills me!

But then, just as soon as the photo shoot has begun, this little face pops up.

She's climbing on the baby,

getting in the light,

wanting to see every photo I take.

Take my pitcher Mommyyyy! Cheeeeeese!

So I've had to readjust my expectations for Wren's photos.

(which is actually the theme for this entire phase of my life)

No time for fancy poses or outfit changes.

Just a few shots, on the fly, better than nothing.

Yes, of course I'll take your picture too.

Say Cheese!

I used to get out more...

2012-02-10T08:00:00.002-05:00

It's true, I don't get out much anymore. But I used to. And I like to look at pictures like these to remind myself that there is a bigger world out there - just a few blocks away to be precise. And one day soon the weather will be warmer and my baby will be bigger and I will be brave enough to venture downtown with the two of them.

And then we'll have grand adventures together and I'll take great photographs to remind us of our fun days. One day soon all that will happen. Until then we will pass the winter with story books and breastfeeding and too much children's television. We'll be back in action soon, NYC - please still be interesting when that day comes.

Of course I needn't worry about that.

Is it pathetic that sometimes I make Joe pretend to pose for a photo because I really want a picture of what's happening in the background, but I don't want anyone to beat me up? You do this too, right?

Ellie's Hospital Stay

2012-02-07T21:47:00.001-05:00

When Wren was seven days old, Eleanor had to be taken to the ER because she was having difficulty breathing. What had looked like a cold earlier in the day turned out to be a bad case of RSV and she ended up staying in the hospital for four days. The photo above was taken the day before she was released. Other than the constant slobber and bad case of bedhead, she looks to be doing very well. That was not the case the night before.

It broke my heart to be separated from Eleanor for those four nights. I had to stay home with Wren to make sure that she stayed healthy. Joe and his Mom took turns caring for our sick little Ellie and I would come visit for about an hour each day. The day before this photo was taken I was heartbroken to see my girl hooked up to a machine to help her breathe. She was feverish and lethargic and completely hysterical whenever a nurse entered the room. She didn't sing or laugh or even open her eyes. She just sat limply in my lap and rested fitfully. It was so very hard to see her that way. This was not the cheerful girl I had always known. There are no pictures of her when she was that ill, because it hurt too much to see.

During those days I would return from the hospital and change my clothes - hoping to shield Wren from the disease. I would hold my tiny baby and try to cherish the newness that still hung about her, yet my thoughts would be far away, wondering and worrying about my firstborn. This was not in our plans for Wren's first days on earth.

Despite our best efforts to keep Wren completely healthy, she too contracted the virus - though miraculously not to the extent that Eleanor experienced. It was hard to watch a two week old cough and sputter and gag, but as I watched her diligently, I felt assured that she would be fine. And I felt so grateful that she didn't need to be hospitalized as well.

This experience taught me a lot about faith and gratitude and what it means to love someone so much that it kills you inside to watch them suffer at all. I am grateful to finally feel confident in my motherly instincts. Somehow I knew when it was time to wake the pediatrician and when it was time to call a cab and rush to the hospital. I am thankful that the Spirit of God inspires mothers to know what their children need at any given time - and also that the Spirit is a source of comfort when your heart is heavy and your mind is troubled.

This experience taught me to be thankful every day for the things I have often taken for granted. When Ellie was gone I realized how much I missed the sound of her feet running through our tiny apartment. I missed her messes and her laughter and her energy that often overwhelms me. Our house was so quiet and meaningless without her here. I learned to be thankful for my health and the health of my husband and children EVERY DAY that we are alive. It is so easy to take our health for granted - to feel that these bodies will always work well and that we are invincible. But truly each breath is a gift not to be treated lightly.

I am grateful also for so many friends and family members who prayed for us and served us and lightened our load during this trying time. We are so very thankful that our daughters are well and we are excited to greet February happy and healthy at last.

A Christmas Tradition

2012-02-05T15:34:00.002-05:00

Every Christmas we buy a new ornament for our tree. It's one of my favorite traditions. We try to find an ornament that represents the year for our family. Last year it was a little wooden taxi, this year a beautiful metal bird. It's for Wren, of course.

I love the image that she just gracefully landed in our lives. I have hopes that she will be sweet and gentle and that her tender song will gladden the hearts of those who know her.

Will I ever regret naming my baby after a bird?
Maybe, but not today.
Birds are so in after all.

I hear rumor around the internet that foxes are the new birds.
Foxes on kids clothes, foxes on pillows and stationery.
Foxes are cute, but naming your daughter Foxy is just asking for heartache.

Wren's First Week

2012-02-04T14:41:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm finally back. I have missed blogging so much. Believe me, I've composed many posts in my head. It's just IMPOSSIBLE to find any time to actually get something on the internet. I'll try to blog when I can, but I'm afraid my free time is very limited these days. For now, how about a fast forward look at what's been keeping us so busy for the last 6 weeks?

It's funny how when your stomach is the size of a small beach ball,

you find it hard to believe things will ever be different.

And then a few short days later you are introducing your child to her baby sister.

Little Wren surprised us with

her chubby cheeks

her thick dark hair

and her cute crumpled ears.

We tried our best to take advantage of the sleepiness newborns experience in the first couple weeks.

Sleeping was our main activity this Christmas.

Joe and Ellie took a little break from sleeping to attend church on Christmas Day.

But upon their return, the napping continued in earnest.

Well, we weren't sleeping ALL the time.

There was that time at 2am when Wren was wide awake.

Joe and I were watching a movie to pass the time.

We were snacking on chex mix and I went to return it to the kitchen.

Then I tripped and fell.

It was awesome.

Know Thyself (and thy mothering pitfalls)

2012-01-15T20:29:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make.

I'm a little bored.

I know, I know - I have a brand new baby and it's all so wonderful and I really shouldn't be anything but over the moon. But I feel I should write the truth here, so here it is. The truth is, I'm not really a newborn person.

Me and my girls on Wren's first day

The honeymoon phase of the first week is over. We're into week three now and exhaustion and boredom are commonplace around these parts. The first time I had a baby I was shocked at how much I didn't love life with a newborn. In fact, it scared me and made me feel guilty. Like somehow I wouldn't be a good mother if I didn't absolutely cherish every day with my new baby.

I know better now.
I know myself better.
I know more about what kind of mother I am.
I am comfortable just saying it like it is:

I am a devoted mother.

I love my children deeply and would do anything for them.

I am pretty good at what I do - I think I raise quality human beings.

However, caring for a newborn bores me to tears.

There you have it, people. That's the truth about me. I know myself well enough to know that I thrive on external validation. (hello, why do you think I blog?) And I understand enough about being a mother to know that validation runs a bit thin coming from your kids. I don't expect Ellie to compliment me for dressing her so sharply or filling her days with creative activities - my expectations are not that unrealistic. I feel validated when my child smiles back at me. When she waves and laughs at something I do. When she converses with me. When she shows me something I taught her. For me, those things are all immensely satisfying.

Newborns - not so much.

Don't worry, I love Wren. She is perfect and wonderful. She is sweet and snuggly. She will grow and develop and I will fall more in love with her as time goes by. Right now we are all healthy and relatively happy. Just adjusting to life and waiting for the new normal to come around. It's OK to be bored for a bit. It is the ebb and flow of life. Right now we're ebbing - we'll start flowing again soon, I'm sure.

I hope to be blogging more in the coming week. And let's have no mistake about it, I'll really be looking forward to your comments.

Because if there's anything I crave right now it's a healthy dose of adult interaction and validation.

Our sweet bird is here

2011-12-23T21:09:00.001-05:00

Wren Josephine Hardie

December 22, 2011

Born at home, 9:20 pm

7lbs. 7oz.
20 inches long

Little Wren has been here less than 24 hours and already she has stolen our hearts.

I will post a birth story later,

but for now I just wanted to leave these photos and a beautiful poem a friend shared with me.

On Children

by Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

But seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

And He bends you with His might

That His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness.

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

So He loves also the bow that is stable.

Waiting for Baby: Part II

2011-12-22T14:42:00.000-05:00

For another of our pre-baby adventures, Ellie and I took advantage of a special they were having at the nail salon down the street. After naptime we walked over and Ellie got her very first manicure while I got a pedicure! It was so fun. And really funny. The ladies who work there couldn't get over her. A little known fact about Ellie is that she LOVES to have her nails worked on. I've never painted them for her, but if she sees anyone trimming their fingernails, she insists that hers be cut as well. Fingernail clipping is the highlight of her day! So I thought she might like this experience - and boy did she.

Just look at that face. She is in hog heaven.

She spent the next several days showing off her pretty pink nails to anyone who would care to look. Now that we are prepped and pampered, we're just waiting for little sister to make her appearance. Come on labor - let's get started!

A Christmas gift from NYC to me

2011-12-20T23:11:00.001-05:00

This really brightened my day.

Merry Christmas-week everyone.

Eleanor turns 2 (part II)

2011-12-18T22:24:00.000-05:00

all photos by Kelli Nicole

Eleanor my darling, it doesn't seem that long ago that I was composing a little blog post to commemorate your first birthday. My, how you have changed in just one year! Really, it is astounding. Especially the hair growth. My super pregnant brain refuses to come up with any poetic or clever words with which to mark this milestone, so instead I will just write a few things I can think of about you right now and share some photos. Really, your pictures speak for themselves.

You are so full of personality.

Usually it's very pleasant and sunshiney - but you do have your 2 year old moments.

The battle of wills around here can be quite intense.

You are so very funny.

Your dad and I are often lying in bed cracking up over the things you said and did that day.

Your four canine teeth are finally coming in - we wondered when they would show up.

You weigh 25 lbs and are 34 inches tall

You do pretty well on the growth chart these days.

I think you're athletic like your father.

Always jumping, climbing, and now somersaulting!

You can throw really well and occasionally impress us by catching something.

Your hair is usually in a ponytail - otherwise it's an unruly mess.

You wear your silver boat shoes every day and LOVE to point them out to people.

You also love "lips" (chapstick) and have to wear some every chance you get.

You gave up on sign language for a while, but now you're interested again.

You often mimic me when I'm interpreting in church. (mouthing the words and all)

Your favorite sign is "giraffe" - you are very serious about this one.

I stopped counting your words a few months ago.

It just didn't seem necessary anymore.

But now we've reached a phase where you say so much and yet, it's not always understandable.

I'm sorry - I try my best to interpret for you, but sometimes even Mama's at a loss for what you mean.

Some of my favorite silly things you say:

pay-low (play-do)

rudderban (rubberband)

Whitney Hardie (where did you learn this, by the way?)

happy halloweeeeeen! (shouted any time someone mentions that holiday)

I do (whenever you answer in the affirmative)

Ellie-mommy-daddy tooted (seriously, every time?)

I did it!

I love to hear you say "I did it."

Because you do so many things and you grow up every day.

You open bottle lids, try to dress yourself, pause the movie, answer my phone - such a big girl.

loving the Little Mermaid pose, by the way.

You love to take pictures with our old camera.

You love to check yourself out in the mirror.

You love Elmo and Blue's Clues.

You are a little bossy and LOVE to be in control.

You love your friends and list them from memory: June-bug, Violet, Arnie (sorry, Arden)

You can count to 14 - if you can get past 4, that is.

Usually it's some variation of 1, 2 ...4, 2 ... 5,6,7,8,9,10, etc.

Not sure why you hate 3 so much.

Similar story with the alphabet - you get bits and pieces really well.

The whole thing? Ah, it's over-rated.

Wow, Ellie. I didn't mean for this to be so long.

I'm sure you're probably embarrassed by how obsessed I am with you.

What can I say?

I'm afraid I will one day forget what you were like when you were 2.

You are too adorable for words.

You test my limits.

You make me laugh and cry (often at the same time)

You melt my heart.

You are a toddler through and through and I'm so happy to spend my days with you.

Keep growing, honey - you are doing just great!

Eleanor turns 2

2011-12-17T23:08:00.000-05:00

Is it really possible? I keep thinking about how much has changed in 2 years.

How different you are.

How different we are because of you.

Ellie, I'll write more for you tomorrow.

More about who you are and the things you do.

I'll post more photos because the internet could never have enough of your sweet face.

But I didn't want tonight to pass without me saying:

I love you, Sweetheart.

Happy Birthday.

Waiting for Baby: Part I

2011-12-17T22:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I certainly hope this series doesn't get very long - as I'd love for our baby to join us sooner rather than later. But I thought I'd document some of the fun things we've been doing to kill time while we wait for the little one to make her appearance. Aside from our regular playgroup and library outings, Ellie and I have been trying to sneak in the occasional adventure while it's still just the two of us.

Earlier in the month we went to an AWESOME little exhibit at the Society of Illustrators called The Original Art. It's a juried show that highlights the best in children's book illustrations from the year. It was really fun and definitely a great way to spend an afternoon in NYC with small children. Our good friends, Bea, Olive, and June joined us.

I loved that the artwork was hung high enough that I didn't have to worry about Ellie touching things, and yet the illustrations were engaging for someone her age. We could point to the blue horse or talk about what people were doing in different pictures. Coolest part ever? The reading area set up in the center with all the books from which the illustrations came. We spent a lot of time browsing these treasures.

Here's a photo I took of one of my favorite illustrations. It's by Jason Chin for a book called Coral Reefs.

There were so many amazing books that I thought I'd share titles and links to a few of my favorites.

You know, in case you're in the market for some children's books this Christmas.

After we had our fill of children's books, we headed out. You know Ellie always has to travel in style.

Oh Snap(shot)

2011-12-15T15:23:00.000-05:00

Well, we got a new point and shoot camera for ourselves this Christmas and I am in LOVE. Finally, a pocket sized camera that takes decent photos and is fun for a photographer to use. This is a big deal, people! There are so many great shots I never take because (I'm lazy and) it takes so much energy to wield that giant camera and lens of mine. Who needs another 7 lbs to lug up the stairs at the train station? Not I. So now that I have this little baby, I am shooting it up like a tourist. Prepare the blog for lower quality, higher quantity, awesome everyday snaps like the one above. Or these:

Yes, we are all very excited around here.

Oh, and speaking of random - here's Ellie's famous Thanksgiving Turkey.

Made with her own hands (and feet)

She likes to hold it during dinner.

Consider this our Christmas Card

2011-12-08T23:12:00.000-05:00

Warning: In the weeks leading up to my due date, I tend to get a little snarky. It's a problem, I know.

Yeah, there's no way we're doing Christmas cards this year. But I have been thinking about what it would say if I sent one out. Maybe I'd do an abbreviated version of the ever-popular brag letter.

Merry Christmas from the Hardies!

Here's a short update about us:

Ellie - obviously cuter and more advanced than your child

Joe - achieving success in his career that you have only dreamed of

Whitney - effortlessly conquering the roles of wife, mother, and photo-blogging sensation

So Beat That!

OK, that's enough sarcasm for one post. For some reason holiday letters just really get under my skin. But if you've already sent one my way, don't worry - I won't judge you too harshly. If you sent me a Christmas card/form letter, chances are we love each other and I will kindly browse through your family's achievements while reminding myself of how very hard it is not to broadcast the accomplishments of one's kin. I will still love you. I just might not respect you as much.

Now on to some real documentation of our family:

Here's me at 36 weeks (I'm currently 38). Something happens after week 35 - my face starts looking really unsure that it's a good idea to be taking these pictures anymore. I try to hide it, but I just can't. Another thing I can't hide? How much I love my Ellie girl.

Really and truly, friends, I hope all of you are doing well. The Hardies are happy and healthy and wish the very best for all of you in this Holiday Season.

Photos by Kelli Nicole - edited and cropped by me.

Lentils - your life is not complete without them

2011-12-05T14:25:00.000-05:00

Note to self: Lentils do not photograph well

Note to all of you: Do not let that stop you from trying this recipe.

Seriously, this is the best lentil soup recipe EVER! I would like to make a public service announcement that everyone in the world should eat more lentils. You really won't regret it. The basic recipe was found here, and then I made a ton of adjustments based on the comments people made. So I consider the following a bit of a masterpiece in my personal culinary history.

1 onion, chopped

1/4 C olive oil

4 carrots, diced

2 stalks celery, choped

3 cloves of garlic, minced

2 tsp dried oregano

2 tsp dried basil

pinch of red pepper flakes

1 C dry brown lentils

1 C dry red lentils

1 can (28oz) crushed tomatoes

4 C broth (chicken, vegetable, whatever you want to use)

1/2 C spinach, thinly sliced (sometimes I add more - just depends on my mood)

2 Tbs basalmic vinegar

salt and pepper to taste

In a large soup pot, heat oil over medium heat. Add onions, carrots and celery. Cook and stir until onion is tender. Stir in garlic and all the spices. Cook for 2 minutes.

Stir in the lentils, add tomatoes and broth. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for at least 1 hour. When ready to serve, stir in spinach and cook until it wilts. Stir in vinegar and season to taste with salt and pepper. Add whatever else you think it needs to be delicious!

Journaling Happy Things

2011-12-02T14:59:00.002-05:00

In the beginning of November I found myself in the depths of despair with the whole bedbug crisis. The depths of despair, people. Anne of Green Gables, anyone? I remembered this talk given recently in General Conference about how it is always better to look up and I decided to apply this counsel to my own life right away.

So for one week I tried to find one really good thing about each day and write it down in a notebook. And you know what? I think because I was looking for good things to happen to me, I opened myself up to more possibilities for enjoyment in my life. I went on outings when I normally would have stayed home because of the thought, "Hey, this could be my good thing for the day." Even days that weren't super great were salvaged when I sat down at the end of the day and tried to remember the biggest highlight of the last 24 hours.

Because this is kind of my journal right now, and because I took some pictures too - I'll share what I wrote in my notebook those days.

Monday 11/7 - Ellie and I went to a park that's off our beaten path. The weather was gorgeous that morning and we had the entire playground to ourselves. It was refreshing to sit and watch my toddler run in the patches of sunlight and crunchy leaves. We had no agenda, no place to be, just time to hang out and do whatever she wanted on the playground.

Tuesday 11/8 - An impromptu trip to the Met got us out of the house all day. I never take last minute outings in the city, but I'm so glad I did. We enjoyed some art (including a cool part of the museum I hadn't previously seen) spent time with great friends, and strolled through Central Park on THE most beautiful fall day.

Wednesday 11/9 - Finally sent off some overdue photos to a client. Conquering the post office before lunch is always a good thing.

Thursday 11/10 - One pint of Breyer's chocolate ice cream. Yes, the whole thing.

Friday 11/11 - Participated in a Blessing Way ceremony for my good friend Megan. A group of close women got together to celebrate Megan and give her love and support for her upcoming birth journey. There was laughter, candlelight, music, homemade Indian food, and just a general sense of well being and sisterhood. I am so excited for her to have her baby, and of course excited for my own to join us soon.

Ellie and her friends were really living it up in Central Park that evening.

And I have no idea what is happening in the photo below, but doesn't her hair remind you of Greg Brady?

It's got me feeling groovy, that's for sure.

Here's hoping all of you have happy weeks as well.

Take some time to notice what is right in your life, right now.

Buggy Buggy Buggy

2011-11-21T22:38:00.000-05:00

Bedbugs.

There, I said it. The most feared word in New York City.

That is the reason things have been so quiet on this blog for the entire month of November.
That is the reason my photography clients have been waiting, waiting, waiting for photos.
That is the reason I have cried myself to sleep a couple times recently.
That is the reason I feel the need to shout, "I'm not a dirty person!" to random people on the street.

Yes, my name is Whitney, and I am a bedbug survivor. And I'm Mormon. (sorry just had to throw that last bit in there because I'm feeling so clever right now)

Do you know how pregnant I am?

Way too pregnant to be dealing with this crap, that's for sure.

Having bedbugs is not for the faint of heart. It requires copious amounts of laundry, sealing all clean items into plastic bags and living for about a month with ALL YOUR WORLDLY POSSESSIONS packed away. Did I mention the vacuuming? There is lots of it. Anything that can't be washed and dried on high heat must be vacuumed. Yes, that would be dear Joseph, vacuuming all of our shoes prior to sealing them in above-mentioned plastic bags.

Every floorboard in the apartment has been vacuumed with the hose extension. All furniture must be vacuumed, closets emptied, dressers emptied, bookshelves emptied. People, this is a serious upheaval.

Then there is the exterminating. We are so fortunate that our management company promptly responded with a professional bedbug exterminator - but it is INTENSE. They come for three days, a week apart each time. And each time all furniture must be moved 18 inches from the wall, all bedding stripped, all picture frames and mirrors taken down, PLUS the other activities already mentioned above. Then they come and spray and anyone who is pregnant or under the age of 2 must be gone from the premises for 24 hours. Guess who that includes?

Lately it feels my life is laundry, vacuum, bag, repeat, repeat, repeat. But there are good things to note as well.

1. Our house has never been cleaner. Though it is an absolute unorganized disaster, I am sure there is not a single speck of dust anywhere to be found - the corners of the room are spick and span.

2. We have learned that you really don't need all that stuff that clutters up your house. In our initial clean sweep we tossed a lot of junk, and I'm excited to throw more stuff away when we open our bags.

3. We have really great friends who have watched our daughter, helped us vacuum and launder, let us crash at their place, given us tips for how they defeated the little monster bugs, and more.

4. Ellie hasn't had a single bite since the first extermination and for this we are really grateful.

5. As I write this, we are preparing for our final extermination - we will be officially bedbug free and our home will be put back together before Thanksgiving. Now THAT is something to be thankful for this year.

Taken at 34 weeks

And I am thankful for the tiny baby growing inside, who has wisely decided to stay put until we get this issue taken care of. Bedbugs stink, but as Joe and I remind each other often - bedbugs are not eternal and we will not be beaten!

Bringing Home the "W"

2011-11-14T14:59:00.002-05:00

So, I don't really get into Halloween. Not really really. I don't decorate, I'm bored after the first Halloween themed toddler party, and I can't handle any scary movies at all. But I do get into the costume. That's the one thing I really care about - well that and Reese's peanut butter cups. I go crazy for family costume themes - I love group costumes! This was our most ambitious year yet. And boy did it pay off.

That's right. Grand prize for costumes at the ward Halloween party! And yes, I am such a gloating winner that not only did I save the plastic plate trophy so I could photograph it to show off to all of you, but I will also tell you that the prize included 2 movie tickets. Boo-yah! The taste of victory was sweet this year, my friends.

We may have won the prize for costumes this year, but I definitely failed in the costume documentation department. I was too tired and too pregnant and it was too snowy to take any decent photos of the family in our get-up. So you'll just have to try to eek out the full effect from the random photos I do have.

Halloween 2011: Amelia Earhart, her trusty airplane, and her route around the world.

Like any good pilot, first thing in the morning Amelia had a thorough inspection of her aircraft - complete with tinfoil prop and historic plane model number.

Then she suited up and posed for a quick press photo, detailing her intended flight route around the world.

Things quickly went downhill from here as we struggled to get an over-sized cardboard airplane wrapped in a shower curtain, a toddler, and a salad to the church building via subway in the outrageous snowstorm that surprised us all that day.

But we made it in one piece and posed for our only family photo of the entire event.

photo by Elizabeth Larsen

And yes, the airplane was built in such a way that Ellie could ride inside on Joe's back. She wasn't too into it, but I thought it was an awesome touch. And here is a video - probably the best documentation we have.

Wow, get a load of the crazy eyes in that freeze frame. Clearly not enough sleep.

Amelia, you were good to us this year. Next year, though, I think we should all be ghosts in sheets.

Grandma is her best friend

2011-10-26T16:17:00.000-04:00

I love how perfectly this photo sums up our recent trip to Oklahoma. Eleanor LOVES her grandma. She woke up from every nap saying, "Gamma?" and rushed through the house to find her. They played playdough and blocks, dug in the dirt, watched for birds out the window - really it was a paradise for Ellie. Pretty nice for me too. Unlimited naps anytime I wanted. We had such a fun time in Oklahoma and one of the highlights of the trip was Ellie's first zoo experience. (well, the first one she was actually old enough to care about)

Oh sure, there were lions and monkeys and penguins. All the usual animals. But the real show stoppers were the tortoises. They were huge! And while they ate lunch, the zookeepers let us pet them!

Ellie couldn't get enough of them and eventually declared herself Lord of the Turtles, vowing to stay forever and be their fearless leader.

I was really excited for Ellie to experience the petting zoo. I thought she'd be really into it, but she wasn't as stoked as I had hoped. I blame this guy really.

He was obviously apathetic and his bad attitude rubbed off on Ellie. She mostly just stood around with the goats. But she still looked cute.

After all the zoo excitement, Ellie and her best friend needed a little nap on the way home. I'm telling you, two peas in a pod. What a fun day and what a great trip!

A Marriage that Works

2011-10-21T10:00:00.000-04:00

I had spent the last hour sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself.

He was tired and hungry after a long day of work.

Who knows how it started? A harsh start-up by both of us as soon as he walked in the door and we were on our way to the world's shortest fight.

Three sentences into it I yelled, "Just leave me alone!" and stormed off dramatically only to realize that there really was no where to go in this one bedroom apartment. So I escaped into the bathroom and drew myself a warm bath.

He found me there, crying my tears of self-pity. He was sorry and I was sorry. Then there was nothing to do but laugh. We laughed because sometimes you just need to let off a little steam. Sometimes you're just looking for a fight. Sometimes you are sick and tired of the same old routine and you need an impromptu bath time and Papa John's pizza.

Sometimes marriage isn't as exciting or glamorous as we once thought it would be. But always we are in this together.

Later that night he brought me a drink of water as we settled into bed.

There were booger-looking things stuck to the inside of the cup near the rim. I complained about them (not being one to suffer in silence) and he cheerfully turned the cup around and offered me the other side.

I drank it.

As we got under the covers my first thoughts were, "Why wouldn't he just get me a clean glass? Or better yet, why doesn't he pay more attention when he does the dishes so we don't have booger-looking things at all?"

The next thoughts were, "I'm so lucky that he brings me drinks of water and that he is so willing to do the dishes each night."

"Good night - I love you."

Maybe one day the nice thoughts will come first. For now I'm just learning to keep my mouth closed long enough to let them come at all.

It's not a perfect marriage - who could claim to have that? But it's a marriage that works. And not in the way that your clunky car works until you can save enough to get a new one. It's love and tears and arguments and inside jokes. It's forgiveness and friendship and negotiation. It's service and learning to be selfless together. This marriage - it's everything to me.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.

Moroni 7:48

The best marriage advice anyone ever gave me

Mother of the Year

2011-10-20T13:34:00.001-04:00

It's a lot worse in person. I promise.

Well, she had her first big bump today. I guess there was that one time she jumped headfirst off our bed onto the hardwood floor. But for some reason I feel like this is her first big injury. Maybe because it happened in public, maybe because it was three concrete stairs she somersaulted down, maybe because it's the first time she hurt herself in such a way that it made me cry. For whatever reason - it was just different this time.

I usually feel pretty proud of my parenting. I feel good about the choices I make as a mother, otherwise I wouldn't do them. One thing I've decided is that I don't want to hover. I try to give Eleanor her space, let her explore and learn on her own. But oh, when I saw her leaning precariously over the top step I called out to her to be careful. And when I saw her jump enthusiastically with both feet, I just knew she didn't have the balance yet to land it. Her feet hit the second stair, her head smashed the first, and she rolled over onto the ground. My feel couldn't carry me fast enough to get to her and I wished in that moment that I had made an exception to my rule. I wished that I had been hovering.

"How could I not be there to catch her?" That of course was my first thought as I scooped her into my arms. Having seen the fall and quickly assessing her little scrapes, I knew that it was not a serious injury. She was mostly scared and yes, definitely had a bump coming on. I didn't freak out, but as I calmed her, I felt my own tears coming on. Tears of guilt and frustration with myself. My baby had hurt herself on my watch.

I am so thankful to the kind woman who sat with us and told me how her 8 year old daughter has had every injury in the book. She said, "I spent the first 5 years feeling guilty all the time, but now, I'm done with that." She looked me right in my tearful eyes and said, "It happens to everyone." Her words helped heal my little wound. And of course Ellie was back to her smiling self already by this point - easily distracted by a favorite toy.

"I see you," she says.

This whole incident has got me thinking about all the ways in which we try to be the best. The best mother we can be, the best wife, the best student or employee, or whatever. And all the many many ways we fall short. We tumble and we get scraped up. We feel embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, humbled. We cry because somehow our efforts just don't measure up. How thankful I am for the lesson that we have to be PATIENT. Patient with ourselves. Kind and forgiving and loving with ourselves and with everyone around us who is also trying to be their best something. We all get scrapes and bruises of the heart. Give a hug (to yourself or your neighbor) and just remember that truly "it happens to everyone."

As for Ellie - well, she comforts herself by chewing on the plastic bag full of ice that was meant for her head. Toddler chewing on plastic bag? See, I told you I was mother of the year.

22 Months - my word!

2011-10-17T23:21:00.001-04:00

Ellie in all of her ice-cream-face glory.

This weekend found us wandering a bit on the Upper West Side. The fall weather was splendid and we enjoyed looking at gaudy crafts, sipping apple cider, and sharing a cone from the Mr. Frosty truck. Yes, this weekend found us soaking up the best parts of Fall.

This morning found me utterly stunned to realize that my daughter is 22 months old. 22 months! I knew it was coming. I've been watching her change from baby to girl, but to think that she will be 2 in 2 short months - well, it kind of takes my breath away. I'd like to record just a few things about my spunky sweet baby (I can still call her my baby, right?) at this age.

She is a champion airplane/helicopter spotter. She never lets one pass unnoticed.

Even when we're inside and she can't see the sky.

Her longest sentence is some variation of "Shoes, where are you?"

"Blanky, where are you?"

"Bear, where are you?"

She's pretty sensitive about noises, and still runs to me, climbs up my body, and clings to my neck

when the buzzer rings

when there's a knock at the door

when someone uses a hammer within earshot

when the neighbor wears shoes and we can hear her walking.

Eleanor has some unknown grudge against the number 3 - skips it every time she counts.

She still adores the swings at the park - could ride them all day long.

She also loves to hang from the monkey bars. It's like a toddler feat of strength.

Says, "Hi" to EVERYONE we pass on the street.

It breaks my heart when they don't say hi back.

She loves babies. Loves to look at them, sit by them, point to them, stroke them when I'm not looking.

She calls her pacifier "fire" - which I think is too adorable for words.

When you take your shoes off at the door, Ellie will promptly put them on and strut through the living room.

She loves a good race and will gladly run back and forth against you for however long you can go.

Ready-Set-Go!

She is still a champion eater, champion sleeper, and of course a champion "cheese-er" for the camera.

Oh how I love this girl!

It's been just me and her for the past 22 months. Best buddies all day (except on those days when we are worst enemies). I can't imagine how life will change for us both when little sister comes along in a couple short months. Let's live it up Ellie - our single child days are quickly coming to a close.

Medieval Festival at 28 Weeks

2011-10-05T10:00:00.000-04:00

Before Conference started last weekend, we took a little stroll in the finally crisp autumn air to check out the Medieval Festival. We were there early, so there wasn't much going on yet. Unlike last year, I didn't feel inspired to shoot very much - just a couple photos to even show we went.

I was inspired, however, to dress up and force Joe to take photos of me. Have to document the growing belly. Here we are at 28 weeks, happy it's Fall and feeling great!

Oh yeah, I went back to brown. Blond was fun for the summer, but it just didn't feel like me. And can we say "high maintenance?" I could never dream of keeping up with those roots.

What's that? You can see the line from my special underwear through my shirt? Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

Making it by Hand

2011-10-04T10:00:00.002-04:00

"You never forget a beautiful thing that you have made...it stays with you - always."

- Chef Bugnard

I came across this quote while reading Julia Child's book, My Life in France. I love the sentiment expressed; that even after you gift it away or pass it on, the beauty of something you made stays with you always. I'm not an accomplished cook like Julia, but I do like to make things with my hands. And so I present this new segment, Making it by Hand. Here for your viewing pleasure is my very first quilt. I made it for my friend who just had a baby boy. It's small and very simple, but I'm still immensely proud of it.

Thank heavens that blogs have made crafting cool again. Otherwise I'd have to be a closeted quilter.

Weekend Thoughts and Family Photos

2011-10-03T12:33:00.002-04:00

All photographs in this post were taken by Kelli Nicole, who will receive a glowing recommendation at the end.

The editing was done by me.

This weekend we enjoyed watching General Conference (a semi-annual meeting of our church) as a family. If you're interested, you can watch all the addresses by clicking here. I came away feeling a renewed desire to develop greater charity and to try harder in all ways to be a true disciple of Jesus Christ. The two talks that engaged me the most were given by:

Elder Tad R. Callister - a bold talk about The Book of Mormon

Sister Elaine S. Dalton - a touching and timely address about how fathers can best raise their daughters

Perhaps Sister Dalton's talk touched me so much because we are expecting the arrival of our second daughter in a few short months. Whatever the reason, I found myself pondering a lot about our little family and how quickly things change and what an exciting time Joe and I have found ourselves in. General Conference happens every six months, and I remembered that last conference weekend Kelli was in town visiting and took some family photos of us. I was probably, oh, 2 seconds pregnant at the time. When I see these pictures now - I can't believe how much we have changed and grown in six short months.

Prepare yourself for a Hardie Family Photography Session of such immensity that surely only the grandparents will stay tuned until the end.

Let's take a short break to admire the real star of these photographs. Those BOOTS! You thought I was going to say Ellie, huh? Seriously, though, let me tell you about these boots. If you'll remember, one of the items on our New York Bucket List was to buy something a fancy. Something we wouldn't normally buy. The boots are my contribution to crossing off that item. How frivolous are they exactly? Enough that I almost backed down and couldn't purchase them. I kept thinking about widows in South America and wondering how many African children I could send to school with the money I was about to plunk down for some footwear. I'm still not sure I made the right decision. And years from now, when I look back on this little boot confession, I'll probably shake my head at the shallowness of my youth. So there you have it, now the entire internet knows what a terrible person I am.

Back to the photographs of my adorable family.

How did Ellie know we were awkwardly kissing behind her?

Somehow, she just knew.

The next two photos are included to show you just how talented Kelli really is at capturing great family photos. You can see how Ellie really felt about having her picture taken. She was screaming any time we didn't let her run around and explore and climb. So you know what? We went with it. Kelli continued to snap away while Ellie did her own thing, and the results are some of my favorite pictures of the session.

I love my little family! I'm so happy we're adding another and (as corny as it sounds) I look forward to watching our family grow in photos through the years.

I know some of you are reading from the Houston area. If you live in Houston, or in any of the places to which Kelli travels frequently, you should definitely hire her to shoot your family pictures. Check out her work here.

Upstate of mind

2011-09-30T23:14:00.000-04:00

A couple weekends ago we took a little roadtrip to visit some places upstate. Ithaca, church history sites, and Niagara Falls (which I've been spelling wrong my whole life). So fun! I love weekend trips with my little family. Joe and I thoroughly enjoyed just driving and talking, having uninterrupted days together. We loved watching Ellie discover new things, the weather was beautiful, the air was fresh - I know I'm rambling, but seriously, this trip was just the refreshing break we needed as a family.

We went up mostly to check out Cornell University, in the hopes that we may one day spend a couple years up there. I fell in love with Ithaca, New York. IN LOVE! I am not in love with the fact that I loaded my first roll film incorrectly and I'm pretty sure all my black and white photos from the trip will be no-shows. BUT, to make up for that bummer, here are some digital snaps and a list of all the things I found to love about Ithaca - in no particular order of course.

the landscape (clean clean air, wildflowers, so many trees)
waterfalls and hiking trails just begging to be explored
quaint, quaint houses everywhere
charming downtown area with shops, live music, great atmosphere
shopping - would you believe it? Ithaca feels like it's in the middle of nowhere, and yet it is so much easier to get to Target, Payless, Taco Bell (you know I love it) and a number of other stores than it is here in Manhattan.
friendly people everywhere - I forgot how nice shopkeepers could be

farmer's market - it's huge from what I hear
community garden AND a children's garden (cuter than I can stand)
roller derby - advertised on a hand-painted sign
foodie paradise - glenwood pines, collegetown bagels, purity ice cream, Ithaca root beer (and that's just one weekend)
awesome science center

apple harvest festival
winter sports (this is Joe's thing, but I could give it a shot)
public pool with a water slide
vineyards and orchards everywhere
fireplaces and wood burning stoves
Cornell campus - so so gorgeous
garage sales and antique malls - it's embarrassing how much I love this stuff

Do you see it, friends? Do you see how Ithaca and I were just born to be together? Is my enthusiasm coming through the internet strong enough? Wow. I love so much about being in New York City right now, but this little vacation showed me that I have got to get away more often.

Fashion Friday: silly styles

2011-09-23T14:32:00.000-04:00

Guess who found last year's Halloween costume and insisted on wearing it for most of the day?

And guess who refused to go to church without BOTH teddy bears?

A friend who saw us said, "Sometimes it's just a two bear day."

So true.

I'm so glad to have this little girl in my life. Seriously, I would be lacking in joy if I didn't have a teddy bear toting, zoned out strawberry baby to hang out with each day.

Hey You!

2011-09-23T14:07:00.000-04:00

Dear Able-Bodied Man who refused to help my 7-month-pregnant-self get the stroller up the stairs at the train stop,

Jesus says I should love you, but it's hard sometimes.

Real hard.

I still love NYC. For so many reasons. But some rainy days just really test my patience.

Summer's End

2011-09-15T14:08:00.000-04:00

Summer 2011 was great! I think the best indicator of our summer success is Ellie's adorable sandal tan - I'm going to miss it when it fades. Governor's Island was at the top of my Summer To-Do list and we all really enjoyed it. It was the perfect mish-mash of random cool stuff. There were historic houses, children's art projects, lots of grass for running, trapeze classes to watch, and a yoga festival. What a unique experience we had, so close to Manhattan yet so far removed. We plan on returning, next time with bicycles to cruise around on and money for ice cream.

Please excuse my total lack of control with the exposure. I love my Instax mini, but I'm still figuring out how to use it.

Summer 2011 - you were great. Thanks for the adventures!

Pssst....

2011-09-12T08:43:00.000-04:00

I have plans for more posts on this blog very soon - but I just put up some photos I'm quite proud of on my photography blog. Head over and check them out.

NYC friends - these pictures have got me itching to get out and have a photo adventure. I need to shoot more personal work. Who wants to come? We could give ourselves a theme, a location, and make an afternoon of it. Come on!! It will be fun.

Family Vacation 2011: Bear Lake (part II)

2011-09-02T13:29:00.000-04:00

I had intentions of shooting some personal work while we were on vacation. You know, early morning walks along the shore - landscapes and details. But it turns out I was way too busy sleeping in, eating milkshakes, hanging out in the sun and playing cards to make time for photography. So all these pictures are pretty much snapshots for the benefit of our family history.

While at Bear Lake, we celebrated Nate's 5th Birthday. There were water balloons, cupcakes and presents!

Ellie was pretty sure water balloons were the coolest thing anyone had ever given her.

Nate received some pretty great gifts AND a birthday kiss from Eleanor.

Of course we had to take a photo of the whole group.

This vacation was so much fun - I can't wait for next year!

Aside from the hair and skin tone (give me a break, I live in NY), I think Sean and I are starting to look more and more alike as we get older.

Sometimes it freaks me out.

Smile real big if you love Bear Lake!

Family Vacation 2011: Bear Lake (part I)

2011-09-02T13:18:00.000-04:00

This was our second annual Hardie Family Vacation that we started doing each summer with Joe's parents and siblings. Coming from a family that never really did extended family vacations, I happen to think this is the best tradition ever! Last summer we kicked it off in Branson, MO which is where Joe's parents spent their honeymoon and where they took a number of trips as a family growing up. This year the location was Bear Lake, ID. My sister in law Mandee's family has a cabin up there and we had SO MUCH FUN! It was definitely one of the highlights of our summer. Here are some photos to show you what we did.

There was a lot of time spent out on the lake.

I stayed in the boat and shot photos, most everyone else enjoyed wakeboarding.

worst photo-bomb ever! Sorry I missed your big jump, honey.

Becca and Joe working it like models in the back of the boat.

Gracie had some solid runs on the wakeboard.

After capturing one wipe-out, I finally understood the real joy of photographing water sports.

Becca still managed to look decent, even in a life vest that was 10 times too big for her.

Then it was Carl's turn - and boy did he give us a good show!

Then Dave turn a spin on the slalom, but the rest of the time he was driving the boat.

Thanks Dave!

Hands down, my favorite person to watch was my brother Sean.

He had the best wipe-outs ever and his facial expressions were priceless.

Seriously, I've never seen someone biff it on a wakeboard the way he did.

These photos make me laugh every time I see them.

There's something so great about seeing your little brother like this.

Thoughts on a less than stellar day

2011-09-01T16:52:00.001-04:00

- Gosh, I am so tired. Sometimes this baby growing really wears you out.

- Ellie still has a cough. The fever is gone, but the congestion remains. Makes me second guess my decision not to take her into the doctor a few days ago. Hope it's not a rare tropical illness or a lingering ear infection that will rob her of her hearing.

-Why did my husband make a dentist appointment for me today? Sometimes I fear he cares more about my oral hygiene than my mental health.

- Trader Joe's, I love your prices - but I wish you were off of the A train instead of the 1. I'm not sure I have the energy to make it home now.

- Bless you, woman who helped me up the subway stairs with the stroller. I fear I would have been left to live down there forever if it hadn't been for you. You are truly an angel.

- Probably should have ordered groceries yesterday so that I would have something to eat other than the Trader Joe's chips and hummus, which were very recently purchased for a very specific dinner menu. Ah well, at least this lunch doesn't require clean dishes - we're a little low right now.

- Oh, Ellie, please stay content for 5 more minutes in there. Momma just laid down for a nap and is desperately tired.

- ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME ELEANOR ROSE!?!? This is the day you decide to remove your poopy diaper in your crib?

- Seriously? My phone doesn't recognize the words Ellie or poopy when I try to text. This makes it very difficult to keep Joe apprised of the day's developments.

- Feeling very torn. Part of me wants to do everything for my family - plan the healthy meals, save the money, decorate the house, keep it clean, potty train the child. But part of me wants it to all disappear for just one day so I can rest. Just one day.

- Canteen empty. Solution? Blue's Clues marathon and Ellie's potty training M&M's from the freezer. 6pm can't come soon enough.

** Have no fear folks. I'll be back soon with chipper updates and pictures of fun times. But I'm totally scrapping today. Sometimes you just have to accept that they can't all be your best days. Can I get an Amen? **

25 in my 25th year

2011-08-30T08:00:00.001-04:00

This picture has nothing to do with the post.

I just thought it was really funny the way I found Ellie after naptime one day.

So, I've seen this idea all over the internet and have always wanted to try it. 25 seems like an epic number - so here it is.

My list of 25 things to do before my next birthday.

1. make a quilt

2. read the New Testament

3. give birth to our second child (I know, it's a gimme, but you need some of those on a list like this)

4. read 10 books

5. go to a foreign country

6. pick apples or pumpkins - something fall-ish

7. learn to watercolor

8. visit a farm

9. ride a bike (I know how - I just haven't been on one since moving to NYC)

10. donate to the Fistula Foundation

11. paint the entryway

12. make a friend

13. go sailing

14. make a website for birth photography

15. wade in the Atlantic

16. get a houseplant

17. picnic in Central Park

18. eat at Serendipity

19. sing karaoke

20. get away with Joe

21. host a post secret party

22. have a root beer float (once again, it's just been a while)

23. give away a Book of Mormon

24. get a pen pal

25. learn how to wear eye liner

Some of them are fun, some are important, some are going to be challenges for me. All together I think it makes for a great year coming up.

P.S. Are you as obsessed with lists as I am? This list is a supplement to my 100 things to do before I die list, my New York bucket list, and we can't forget the New Year's resolution list. How are your goals coming along? Please tell me about some.

July Birthdays in review

2011-08-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Well, it was much earlier in the summer that Joe and I celebrated our birthdays. But being the compulsive blogger that I am, I can't just move on without writing something about our little celebrations.

For Joe's 26th birthday we spent the afternoon touring the new section of Highline Park (along with every other person in Manhattan) and then we had delicious ice cream at Chelsea Market. Photos below. That evening my special gift to Joe was giving him a few free hours to rollerblade to his heart's content.

My 25th birthday was celebrated with an evening out. We saw the last installment of Harry Potter (very rare for us to actually GO to a movie) and had dinner in Little Italy. It was lots of fun, but sorry, no pictures. Instead, enjoy these photos from Joe's celebratory day.

Before we hit the Highline we saw this crazy inflatable exhibit that felt a lot like being in a nintendo game.

Where's Waldo? Can you find her?

I think the interesting views are the best part of Highline Park.

Ellie enjoyed picking pebbles and eating apricots.

This afternoon together was a simple but nice way to celebrate Joe's birth.

Hurricane Preparedness

2011-08-27T14:37:00.000-04:00

Flashlights and extra batteries - check
Butt loads of clean water - check
Rice, beans, and other food storage items - double check
Slight fear of being without AC - of course
Blog posts already completed so you won't even know I'm in the dark - coming up
Long list of items to buy after the emergency to update our 72 hr. kits - you know it

We are prepared, and so we feel calm about the impending storm.

Our thoughts and prayers are with friends and neighbors - hoping everyone stays safe.

Is it wrong that part of me is looking forward to so much uninterrupted time with my two favorite people?

Bring on the candlelight and board games - we're making the most of this storm.

Wedded Bliss

2011-08-25T20:44:00.002-04:00

4 years

1.5 children

2 degrees

6 roadtrips

3 cities

4 apartments

0 pets

millions of "I love you's"

countless kisses

a lifetime of laughter

an eternity of love

Dearest Joe, I am so blessed to share this journey with you. Thank you for being mine and for showing me what love is every single day. I am grateful we have forever because one life would not be enough to spend with you. Happy Anniversary, love. 4 years into it some people may wonder, do we still have it?

Oh yes. We do.

photos by Kelli Ward

Summer Garden Couscous Salad

2011-08-16T13:12:00.000-04:00

You should hurry and make this recipe before summer is over. You won't want to miss it - it's really that good. If you want to make yourself feel extra good, try using some produce from your local farmer's market or your very own garden. Hurray for summer!

Recipe from Taste of Home

*some small instructions altered by me

1 C corn (we like to cook fresh corn first, let it cool and cut it from husk - we've also used frozen corn thawed when fresh wasn't an option)

1 C chicken broth

1 C uncooked couscous

1 medium cucumber, halved and sliced

1 1/2 C cherry tomatoes, halved

1/2 C crumbled Feta

1/4 C chopped red onion

3 Tbs minced fresh parsley

3 Tbs olive oil

3 Tbs lemon juice

1 tsp dried oregano

3/4 tsp ground cumin

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

Cook the corn and set aside (if using frozen, just add it later with the other veggies)

In a small saucepan, bring broth to boil

Stir in couscous, remove from heat, cover and let stand 5-10 min or until water is absorbed

Fluff with a fork and set aside to cool slightly

In a large bowl combine cucumber, tomatoes, feta cheese, onion, parsley and corn

Stir in couscous

In a small bowl whisk the oil, lemon, and seasonings

Pour over couscous mixture, toss to coat

Serve immediately or cover and refrigerate until chilled

I know it looks long, but really - it's simple to make and SO worth it. Hope you all enjoy! Leave me a comment and let me know if you ended up making it.

It's a.......

2011-08-11T22:50:00.002-04:00

Girl!

It's a girl, it's a girl, it's a girl, girl, girl.

We are so thrilled. When I found out that Eleanor was a girl I was very excited, but to hear that we will be the parents of two daughters...well, it just put me over the moon. My head is filled with visions of two precious girls running through sun-drenched fields. Sundresses, flowing locks, the whole nine yards.

Joe and I can't wait to meet Ellie's little sister and to watch them grow together. What better gift could I give my daughter than a sister to be her friend forever? We have also pondered how exciting it will be when they are old enough to steal each other's clothes and boyfriends, the fights that will ensue, and what a drain on the pocketbook it will be if they get married close together. Yeah, we've looked that far into the future. Can you tell we're excited?

Originally I was going to post a picture of my belly with a bow glued to it (clever, I know) - but on second thought decided not to put my protruding hairy belly button on the internet for all to see. The flower's classy, right?

A couple weeks ago I rocked this Motherhood thing

2011-08-10T08:30:00.000-04:00

Yes, it's true. There are many days that Ellie and I watch more than our fair share of Hoarders and Blue's Clues (a show for mommy, then a show for baby, rinse and repeat).

I don't blog about those days because 1) I've got a reputation to maintain and 2) you all have these days too; you don't need to read about them here. But a couple weeks ago I had a where I was just so proud of my mothering efforts. We did something fun! I forced myself to relax and relinquish control. I overcame my obsessive need for a clean house and opted instead for a morning of memory making.

We made a playhouse! We painted a box. We invited some friends over and had a grand time.
Seriously, nothing makes me feel like a better mom than the occasional day like this.

Of course, after painting the box for a while, it became way more interesting to paint ourselves.

Just before the painting got too chaotic, we dumped those little girls in the tub and called it a day.

Look at these faces. That's how you know there was a good time all around.

Bye everyone. Come back next time my mom lets me do something super fun.

I can't wait!

What do you do with your children that makes you feel like a superb mother? What are your mothering proud moments? I need more ideas around here.

Fashion Friday: celebrity doppelganger

2011-08-05T20:54:00.000-04:00

If Eleanor is one thing, she's a character. The question is which character is she? This week's Fashion Friday has the answer.

A couple months ago Ellie woke up from naptime with the most amazing hair. I broke out the camera to document it. She was obsessed with this toy bling she was wearing and before long, I noticed some real diva-like behavior.

Lounging around without a care in the world.

Busting moves straight out of music videos.

With the hair and the attitude, I knew she was reminding me of some musical performer.

But who?

Finally it came to me.

It's Baby Mariah!

In that case, sing on baby. Mama wants to live off your royalties one day.

If you need her, she'll be in her trailer.

Gosh, I love this girl.

*Mariah image from here. All other photos by moi.

The Bump and the Hair

2011-08-04T22:25:00.001-04:00

20 weeks this time around sure feels bigger than the last.

All week I've been singing oh -oh, we're halfway there, oh-oh livin' on a prayer.

I had some crazy anemia for a while, but it's soooo much better now. (thanks to a really disgusting supplement)

There is a reason my head is not showing in this picture.

I dyed my hair.

It was a crazy crazy idea.

I'm so nervous to show you.

Deep breath.

See? I told you it was crazy.

My grandma told me I look like Lady Gaga - and I think she meant it as a compliment.

I was going to wait to show the internet this drastic change until I had a decent picture with a cute outfit, make-up and everything.

But the roots are coming in faster than you'd believe.

So I had to settle for Joe's photo of me all dressed up for hip-hop class.

That's right Internet - I went platinum and I take hip-hop class*.

I'm full of surprises. That's how we keep this relationship fresh.

*I bought a 10-class pass to a studio in the city, and it's been SO MUCH FUN. I've also done theater dance and swing, with belly dancing and ballet coming soon.

As Good as it Got : final touches in the old apartment

2011-08-03T19:24:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know it's such old news now. But for those of you who followed some of our improvements to our old apartment, I thought I'd show you a few photos of a couple projects we actually finished. Also, just wanted to get some documentation up of what the rest of our first NYC apartment was like.

Green plants on top of the bookshelves - they brought a nice softening to the room.

Awesome round mirror (super cheap at IKEA)

And the crowning jewel was our family photo wall.

It took us almost a year to conceptualize, gather materials, paint and hang.

I love how it brings some family history into our living space.

We can look up and see a number of big events and fun times in our lives.

I'm very happy with the way the living room turned out.

The purple hallway was always a conversation starter.

In this photo, the front door is just off to the left and the kitchen is just to the right.

I like this photo because it gives you a good idea of just what a small space we had. When you go around the corner in the hallway, you see this doorway. From the doorway you can see our dresser, our bed, and a wardrobe crammed at the foot. You can also see the wall to Ellie's little closet/room. We really crammed a lot into this room - and it felt like a sailor's quarters.

Not much to say about the bedroom. Our decorating didn't get this far in 1 year.

Ellie's room wasn't really decorated, but we hung our old Halloween costumes and her birthday pom-poms to give it some color.

Also, what you see is what you get in this photo - her room was about 5'x6.5'

Super tiny!

Ellie wanted to make sure you got a good look at the diaper genie, as it was her favorite feature in the room.

And here is the adorable art piece that hung above it - made by my awesome friend, Holly.

We loved our little apartment in the time we lived there. And I love that everywhere we go, no matter how long we plan on staying, we try to improve it and make it feel like home. I really miss our old kitchen with it's brand new appliances and I miss the natural sunlight of B-52 (not to mention, how cool was it to live in the love shack?), but there are SO MANY dreamy things about our new apartment.

I'm sure in time we'll have it spiffed up and looking like home sweet home. Can't wait to get started!

Birth over Blog

2011-08-02T22:45:00.000-04:00

I promise I was going to blog yesterday. Promise.Promise.Promise. I was looking forward to a complete week with blog posts every day. But then I got a 3am phone call and it was time to go photograph a birth for a really great family.

Well, actually I almost photographed a birth. See, that's the funny thing about labor - it can be a little unpredictable. I missed the actual debut of this little guy (as did his dad and almost the midwife). But as disappointing as that was, I'm still glad I was able to document most of the day for this family.

Did you know I'm a birth photographer? Ask me more about it if you're interested. Go here if you'd like to see some images. I'm looking forward to sharing more photos from this birth on my photo blog soon.

We're Back

2011-07-20T08:38:00.000-04:00

Two days ago we rode a car, an airplane, a bus and a subway - but we finally made it home from vacation. We're all moved in to our new place and just focusing on getting it settled and making it home. Not much time for photographing and blogging right now, but I'll make an effort to share some of our stories and photos from the summer soon.

I hope you are all having wonderful summer adventures.

Bye-Bye First Tri

2011-07-06T10:00:00.001-04:00

This photo perfectly captures the feelings of the first trimester for me. No energy to smile, or even open my eyes for that matter. My body is here with you guys, but who knows where the heck my mind has gone. What is going on with my hair? And yes, I'm wearing a zip up hoodie out on the town, so what? The minute I saw this photo, I just knew...this is visual evidence of what the first 3 months feel like.

no motivation
lazy lazy lazy
nausea (but luckily no vomiting)
feeling so bored with myself
watching waaaay too much TV

But look! I recovered - those dark days of early pregnancy are behind me now. I have more energy, I got a haircut, started wearing make up again. Baby steps. Slowly, slowly I can feel myself returning. And before you know it, I'm checking out books from the library and feeling the urge to model in front of my computer.

OK, that's quite enough. Let it be known, I am 16 weeks along, feeling great and feeling a little tiny person move inside me. There's nothing quite like it. Goodbye first trimester, you won't be missed around here.

All you ladies who have been/are pregnant, I'm curious to know. What's the first tri like for you? Pukey? Exciting? Worry fraught? Normal? Tell me, tell me please.

Happy Fourth of July!

2011-07-04T13:16:00.000-04:00

Get a load of Ellie's patriotic outfit and beauty queen wave.

She could be MISS Independence Day this year.

Sorry the blog's been dark for the last couple weeks. We are in full scale moving mode. 2 more days until I live in an apartment with an elevator! Yipee!! Just wanted to check in to wish everyone a happy and safe holiday and to leave you with a solemn promise for more blog posts soon:

- Joe's birthday celebration

- final apartment tour of improvements

- recent family photo session

- pregnancy update ('cause I know you're all dying to know)

- fashion fridays, of course!

Today we will be packing, picnic-ing, and sticking close to the phone in case our neighbor's illegal fireworks light our apartment on fire. I hope some of you out there are enjoying barbecues and pool parties and parades today. Eat a hotdog, make a cannonball, and catch some candy for me!

Check!

2011-06-22T22:29:00.000-04:00

Yes, we finally did it. Another big item on the NYC bucket list. A years' long dream fulfilled. We bought the discount tickets months in advance and waited with great anticipation for this night.

And aside from the nasty sinus infection and near tragic babysitting miscommunication (what do you mean you're not coming!?!) we had a good time.

But.

To be perfectly honest, it didn't blow me out of the water. Does that make me a total snobby loser? Here's the deal: I've been listening (and singing along) to the original broadway cast recording since my freshman year of college. It set the bar SUPER high for any live performance to try and match. And EVERYONE talks about how much they love this show. Serious gushing, people. So I went, and I saw it, and I was like, "meh."

I know it sounds bad. But I had no desire to obsessively flip through the playbill and read all the bios to figure out how these amazing people got here and how I could become one of them. I didn't gush about the show to people I saw later. I didn't talk about it all night long with Joe. Aaaaahhh, how lame and frustrating is that?

I've narrowed it down to 2 main issues:
1. I was waaaay too familiar with the show, and so there were no surprises for me. Surprise is important.
2. Because so many people love Wicked, I built it up in my mind to such proportions that I fully expected to have an out of body experience in the middle of the performance.

You'd be surprised how often I let myself build things up that much, and how often I am disappointed.

Ah well, next time the trick is to not wait years and years to see a show - see it before the whole world does and then it can be exciting and thrilling and wonderful and I can gush about it to all my friends.

Father's Day Tribute

2011-06-20T22:47:00.000-04:00

First of all, Ellie knows she's not allowed to play in the windowsill. And she gets REALLY upset when you catch her and make her get down.

But she is easily consoled if you give her a camera and let her photograph her dad. (who, by the way, is the best dad in the world) Those of you who know how heavy my camera is may wonder how this is possible. Well, we put the camera on the bed, Ellie sits behind it and bends forward until her forehead is touching it (she doesn't necessarily put her eye to the viewfinder), then she yells "cheese" and hits the shutter. I'm really fond of the results. Here friends, is my dear Joe, as only his daughter can capture him.

whoops, someone needs the auto focus adjusted.

getting closer...

There he is!

Here's looking at you, Joe, and some of the reasons why you're the best dad in the world:

- you love your wife and child

- you show this love every day

- you work really really hard to support our family

- you do the dinner-bath-bed routine like a champ

- you never lose your temper

- you let Ellie puke all over you that night she was sick

- you play chase and tickle better than anyone

- you gently lead with a righteous example

- you are always up for fun family time

Ellie, just look at that list up there!

We really hit the jackpot with this one.

Fashion Friday: a family affair

2011-06-17T14:49:00.001-04:00

These Fashion Friday shots were taken on an unusually warm day back in April. Ellie was feeling the need to sport some summer garb and somehow we all got in on the action. First up, we'll start with Eleanor. With a super bright shirt, some pink capris and an orange bow, is there any doubt this girl is ready to party all summer long?

Yes, I know these two images are almost exactly the same. But in the first one she's sticking her tongue out thoughtfully and in the second one she's on the verge of smiling. How could I choose?

In school we learned that editing yourself (choosing only THE BEST shot) is vital to being a good photographer. But asking a mother to choose between two equally adorable photos of her child is an impossible task.

I think my new understanding of this fact will make me a much wealthier family photographer. Ha!

Joe's contribution to Fashion Friday was not only his flattering get up of gym shorts and free BYU t-shirt, but also a project for the living room that made our apartment much more fashionable. I'll share more photos of the finished project later in a segment I'm calling "as good as it's going to get because we're moving."

And here I am, working it as a fashion model for Ellie's first photo shoot. This girl loves to use the camera! I know it's not the best angle of me, but when the illustrious Eleanor Hardie is taking your picture, you do what it takes to get in the frame. Photoshoots with Ellie are lots of fun until it's time to put the camera away.

This is the view I had to deal with for the next good while. Awesome.

P.S. Guess who is 18 months old today?!? I think there will be extensive photos to document this girl on her half birthday.

Little Brother in the Big City - Part II

2011-06-16T23:06:00.000-04:00

That's right ya'll. It's Lady Liberty Time.

The #1 most exciting thing we did with Sean was visit the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.

Prepare yourselves for the awesome-ness!

First of all, I should win a prize for this photo.

Right? Right.

Secondly, did you know that the copper plating we see on Lady Liberty is only 1/4" thick?

Seriously blew my mind.

Thirdly, did you know that we Hardies are a very enthusiastic bunch?

Now you know.

We were obviously super excited to cross a big item off our New York City bucket list.

When you visit the Statue of Liberty, be sure to at least do the pedestal tour. Do the crown tour if you're able - we were not so fortunate.

Here are the reasons why:

1. Great photo backdrop of the city when you're at the feet of the lady

2. There's a part where they let you look up her skirt

3. You get great perspectives of the statue when you're that close - interesting stuff many people have never seen

4. You learn a lot about the history of the statue in a museum that badly needs updating but is still informative (no photos of that part - sorry)

In that shot of Ellie, you can see the inside of the statue just behind her. We were holding her up to the ceiling.

Just thought I should tell you in case her beautiful face distracted from the innards of the statue.

But the biggest reason to do the pedestal tour is because you get an amazing, non-crowded platform on which to take awesome touristy pictures. Yessssss!!!!

Of course you have to pretend to lift the statue.

And pretend to be an Asian tourist.

Seriously though, the best use of the Statue of Liberty is as a backdrop for your hip hop music video.

Once again, the Canon proves to be too much for a non-photographer to handle and every single shot of me is blurry.

But that's OK, I can laugh about it.

I even laughed at the seagull who pooped on me while waiting for the ferry.

Sometimes that's all you can do.

Little Brother in the Big City - Part I

2011-06-15T13:48:00.001-04:00

Get ready folks. Little brother Sean came to visit us in May and we had a blast! So much so that I've got to break it down into two different posts. First up, Ellie was very excited to show Uncle Sean one of her favorite places - the American Museum of Natural History. We saw our fill of dinosaurs and butterflies and a great time was had by all.

So, here I am giving Joe instructions on how to work the camera for a group shot.

And here is the final product.

Yeah, we're totally blurry, but at least the Anatotitan is in focus.

And now we move on to the butterfly exhibit.

Super overpriced, but introducing Ellie to butterflies was one of the coolest experiences of parenthood thus far.

As much as Eleanor loved the butterflies, she REALLY loved the man with the misting bottle.

I was really jealous of this lady's barrette.

If you asked Sean to name his favorite parts about visiting NYC
it would probably be a tie between a Broadway show and the great street performers.

Oh, and there was that crazy lady who tried to hook up with him in Times Square.
Can you blame her?

Summer Bucket List

2011-06-08T21:02:00.001-04:00

It was a whopping 95˚ today in New York City. If you have central air conditioning, please take a deep breath of it for me. I seriously have such a love affair with my window AC unit that I would run away and marry it if Joe would allow. Anyway, summer is here to stay and I thought I'd list the adventures I hope to have this year.

- Trip to the Bronx Zoo
- Swim lessons and multiple afternoons at the neighborhood pool
- Coney Island
- Row the boats in Central Park (possible reschedule for Fall if the heat is too oppressive)
- Ride bikes around Governor's Island
- Visit Niagra Falls
- Hardie family vacation to Bear Lake
- See the PostSecret exhibit at the MoMa

And on days when we're not having giant adventures, Ellie and I will be hitting up various parks around town. Today we welcomed summer by heading to "dolphin park" by our house. So named because of a dolphin statue that sprays water. It's a toddler paradise.

This is the only photo with a glance in my direction AND half a smile.

She was way too busy having fun to bother posing for pictures.

Below you will see a number of things:

- the famed dolphin

- Ellie's preference for staying out of the spray and playing in puddles

- calf high water socks that are sure to be all the rage later this year

- Ellie's continued obsession with dogs, even plastic ones

The end. (get it?)

Humbled again by thoughts that aren't my own...

2011-06-07T10:03:00.003-04:00

The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own' or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life - the life God is sending one day by day.
- C.S. Lewis

Do you love how he says "of course" as if to suggest all of us who didn't realize this earlier are just plain silly? Oh. Of course. I knew this was the truth all along.

Now if only I could paraphrase it enough to have it tattooed on my right forearm. Suggestions?

Two blue lines and my thoughts on the future...

2011-06-05T23:16:00.001-04:00

- I'm glad we're moving to an apartment with more space.

- I'm extremely grateful our new place will have an elevator. (I think this every day as I haul the ever growing toddler and the yet unborn up 5 flights of stairs)

- I realize our timing means that December will ALWAYS be a crazy month in our home.

- I'm trying to be over-the-moon excited, but honestly, it's just not as romantic as the first time around:

maybe when the sickness and exhaustion leave

maybe when my bump looks like more than a large lunch

certainly when I hold that sweet tiny infant in my arms

Yes, we're having a baby. I feel grateful and humble, and hopeful that the excitement will come soon. Shortly after learning there would be an addition to our family, I found myself wandering in the Met and I saw two paintings that depict my conflicting hopes and fears for the future.

My hope is that the entrance of our second child will be something like this

I, the serene mother, lovingly hold my tender babe.

I feel the presence of angels ushering me through the haze of the newborn days.

But I worry that being the mother of multiple children will feel more like this

Dear Lord, please don't let it be like this.

Because I would not be handling as calmly as the woman pictured.

Fashion Friday: anything goes

2011-05-27T23:18:00.000-04:00

When Mom is sick, wear whatever the heck you want! Tree frog pajama pants with a t-shirt, sandals and princess crown? Sure, looks great honey.

Seriously, she brought me the sandals and crown - adamant that she wear them.

What a fashionista.

Me and Her (is that grammatically correct?)

2011-05-18T11:22:00.001-04:00

I've made a new goal (it's very informal) to be in more photos with my daughter. Even if I'm not dressed up, even if they're totally blurry and have funky exposure, even if both our faces don't fit in the frame.

I want to remember our time together - the time when it was me and her.

What about you, fellow mama bloggers - will you join me in this challenge? I want to see pictures of you and your babes. Put them up on your blog, send me a link, let's document this motherhood thing!

Mother Appreciation: the post-edition

2011-05-17T11:31:00.003-04:00

I know, I know, Mother's Day was forever ago and I totally missd the boat. But I"m going to share some mother-stuff anyway. It's always a good day to honor motherhood, right? I gave a talk in church on Mother's Day (no need to comment on the irony - if you know me, you know these issues) and I shared a few quotes that I think are just amazing:

"One cannot forget mother and remember God. One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one."

Thomas S. Monson, Behold Thy Mother, April 1998 Ensign

"When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman's most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord's language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve "the mother of all living" - and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us."

Sheri Dew, Are We Not All Mothers?, 2001

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children...What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."

M. Russel Ballard, Daughters of God, May 2008 Ensign

I may not be Mother of the Year, but we sure look the part don't we?

Much love to you Eleanor - you made me a mother, I'm trying to make me a better one.

image credit: Kelli Nicole

Grandma Takes New York!

2011-05-16T11:19:00.002-04:00

Whoa everybody, sorry about the radio silence over here. We've had a few busy weeks. You know, the kind where you're so busy living your life you have no time to blog about the living you've been doing? And yet, if I don't blog about it, I feel strangely unfilled by the whole experience. It's twisted, I know.

Anyway, I'm back now and very excited to share some photos with you! A couple weeks ago, my grandma came to visit. It was her first time in New York City and we did our best to show her a good time.

Grandma and Ellie on 5th Ave.

We went to Tiffany's and had lunch in Central park on this day.

Grandma and Ellie have some quality time at Union Square Park.

The reason Ellie doesn't look at the camera anymore is that she's gotten really good at ignoring me.

Really, really good.

Grandma sees the Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry.

Grandma on the Brooklyn Bride (look at that modeling skill!)

Grandma in front of the Met. This was probably her favorite stop.

She loves the art of the East, so I saw a lot of stuff I don't normally see on this trip.

Also, not pictured is our Broadway adventure. We saw How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying and it was awesome! I was just too tired to take any photos that night. Can you blame me? Grandma wore me out.

I did get a chance to take some quick shots of Ellie with her Great Grandmother. I have a couple candid pictures of me with my mom's grandparents and I just treasure them. I hope Ellie will treasure these one day.

Thanks for a fun-filled week Grandma - it was great having you! I love you.

Quilt Show Extravaganza!

2011-04-14T22:38:00.000-04:00

OK, so I know it's old news on the internet because Erin and Debi both posted about it already, but I've yet to give my review. Holy cow people! Look at this amazing exhibit I saw in NYC. I've taken a recent interest in quilting. It started when I watched How to Make an American Quilt (that Winona Ryder - she gets me every time). Then Ellie was gifted some very beautiful quilts that I absolutely treasure. Then I decided I should learn to quilt so I can give treasures to other people. Then we went to the American Folk Art Museum and fawned over their quilts. Then there was this special exhibit....it's quite the love affair with quilting right now.

What I loved most about this show:
1. The design of the exhibit - absolutely phenomenal!
2. All these quilts were collected by one woman. This was 80th birthday wish - to share her collection with New York City. How sweet is that?
3. This exhibit encouraged viewers to simply have a visual experience. No need to read long text panels, don't feel obligated to learn the history of every quilt. Just come SEE it. I love a low pressure art experience.

Debi with one twin. It's just unnatural to see her with only one!

Hashi watched the other twin (Ellie's boyfriend, remember?)

There were a couple things I felt uncomfortable about:

1. I started having flashbacks to Alice in Wonderland, when she's being chased by the Queen and all those cards are flying everywhere. Scariest movie of my childhood.

2. Ellie was having a ball, pushing through people to walk wherever she wanted. Whenever I looked up at someone to apologize for her rude (but come-on, totally cute) behavior I was met with cold stares from some ladies. They were not amused. What gives people? Apparently quilt enthusiasts are not Ellie's crowd.

Oh well, we still had a good time. Unforgettable to be sure.

My Friend Kelli

2011-04-13T21:55:00.000-04:00

This is my friend Kelli. She is pretty great. She's a very talented photographer, but the most important thing you should know about Kelli is that she's super helpful. I tell you, this girl is just looking for ways to help you out! While she was in town, Kelli took some great family photos of us (which deserve a post all their own) and she and I went on a little walk through Central Park. Being the helpful person that she is, Kelli let me borrow her sweet lens to take some photos of emerging spring. I posted all of them on my photography blog, but here are a few favorites if you'd like a peek.

Not only did she let me borrow her lens, she even let me borrow her friends for some fake engagement photos.

That's Kelli for you - willing to jump in wherever you need her.

See what I mean?

So for all these nice things Kelli does for me, I say thank you.

And I try to help her out by taking sweet photos of her.

Because that's what photographer friends do.

Thanks for everything Kelli! It was a blast as usual.

Website Issues

2011-04-13T13:23:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Please accept my apologies for the lack of new content. Oh, and I'm sorry the old content cannot be viewed either. I post my images through a website called Photobucket and some of their accounts have been down (including mine) for more than two days now. Ridiculous!

Needless to say, frustration abounds. There are lots of posts coming, just as soon as this gets fixed.

In the meantime I'll be busy crafting a Photobucket voodoo doll.

Fashion Friday: wear what your heart desires

2011-03-31T22:40:00.000-04:00

Today's tip is inspired by Eleanor's St. Patrick's Day outfit. Choosing an outfit that day was tough. We knew there was a requirement to don green or risk being pinched. The neon green skirt was an outlandish choice - one she has never worn before. And since we were being bold, why not go all the way and pair it with some striped tights and a fashion onesie? It was a complete break from Ellie's usual conservative outfit and boy was it refreshing!

Some days you've just got to throw caution to the wind and wear whatever your heart desires.

Dress happy my friends.

Eleanor LOVES dogs right now.

And she is very serious about her pigeon stalking.

Thwarted again!

That's alright Ellie. You look like a million bucks and you lived to stalk another day.

**For those of you who frequent the blog for photography tips - here's a good one: DO NOT take pictures in middle of the day. Portraits shot in harsh sunlight do not look good. Period. For best results, photograph your kids playing outside in the late afternoon/early evening, when the sun is at a lower angle. Or look for a well lit but shady area (known as open shade) for more even lighting. Good lighting will make all the difference. Just compare these photos to the ones posted below to see what I mean.

Ellie at 15 months

2011-03-31T12:59:00.000-04:00

Just a quick word of explanation.

Let's all be perfectly honest. I know why you're here. You come to see photos of the girl. I get that, I really do. And I appreciate that you humor my wordy stories and wandering theories when really you're thinking "cut it out and just show the photos." Because I love you all and want to please you, I try to keep the posts photo heavy. And I tend to shy away from braggy-brag posts about all her latest statistics because that stuff kind of annoys me.

That said, I'm going to make an exception today and just list a few things about Ellie at 15 months. I do it because 1. my mother-memory can't be trusted and I don't want to forget what she was like at this age and 2. because frankly, I think she's awesome and I'm dang proud of her. I know most of you don't care what milestones she's reaching and I'm sure it sounds a lot like what a lot of other babies are doing at her age, but you should still read it.

Because I read yours - even if I groan inwardly first.

Quick Stats:

20 lbs (finally) 31" tall

20 spoken words

15 signs

11 teeth

Activities that fill her busy day:

peek-a-booing around the couch

emptying and refilling her Citibank lunchbox-purse

climbing the stairs at the playground

pretending to talk on the phone

busting into giggles all the time (especially after nap)

remaining terrified of the buzzer

obsessing over dogs and cats and birdies

rejecting bananas but consuming large quantities of oranges

flipping through favorite books

nurturing her sense of humor - she's really a silly goose

insisting on wearing her new sandals (which are far too big) around the house

saying her own version of "bless you" whenever someone sneezes

giving kisses to everyone and everything, but not mama - apparently I've had too many

getting very frustrated when she can't accomplish a task

sitting on my lap to watch TV (yes, I am that parent)

being so dang cute it forces me to make these braggy lists

Don't believe me? See for yourself.

(please excuse the post-nap crazy hair. we can't be fancy all the time)

She loves this finger puppet so much it hurts.

I was wondering where she learned to impersonate a monkey.

Then I realized. Monkey see and all that.

Here's another sign Joe taught her.

"Cheerio"

No, it's not ASL. But I think it should be.

Triple Header

2011-03-24T11:31:00.000-04:00

Guess who had 3 disgusting dirty diapers in a 10 minute period?

Rock on, Ellie.

*This photo was taken in December, and I cannot believe how different she looks now. She's much taller and lankier and has real live little girl hair. She doesn't even look like a baby anymore. It blows my mind how fast she changes.

Living room tour

2011-03-23T12:51:00.000-04:00

A few people have asked to see photos of our apartment and I am happy to finally share a little tour of our living room today. We've put a lot of work into this part of our apartment since we moved in and I think it's coming along nicely. It's amazing to look back on what it was like when we first moved in.

This is what it looks like today:

A list of things I love about my living room:

- so much sunlight

- great view all the way down the street

- love, love, love the gray walls

- happy curtains (my friend Megan helped me make them and they add so much to the room)

- Ellie has a presence in the room, but it doesn't feel over run with baby stuff

- the little reading couch is my favorite place to curl up with a good book

It's still a work in progress. Here are some things that could use improvement:

- giant blank wall (visible in 4th photo) needs family photos hung

- big space above the couch is begging for artwork

- place a mirror over the leafy chair (serious lack of mirrors in this house)

- do something with all the computer cords - they drive me bonkers!

- remove stuff from top of bookshelves and replace with plants

- some shelves need serious organization and styling

- we could use one more light source at night

I'll be sure to do another tour when the finishing touches are up. You know, so you can get the full effect.

These two shelves are a major thorn in my side. Unsightly.

Oh yes, I also have a major dust bunny problem, even though I clean compulsively.

And in the spirit of full disclosure, look at all the stuff I had to shove into the hallway for this tour.

Awesome.

Yes, we painted the hallway deep purple.

It was supposed to be a little more plum-y, but we've grown to love it.

Thanks for being my virtual home guests, hope you'll invite me to your place soon!

Back to Photography

2011-03-22T15:55:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone, I first started this space after taking a break from my photography business and finding that I still had a need for a creative outlet. Well, I'm back to photographing and I thought I'd share a link for those of you interested in seeing my work.

www.hardiephotography.blogspot.com

Look it over and let me know what you think! I'd love the feedback.
And don't worry. I won't be leaving this blog anytime soon. Up next, a requested apartment tour!
Thanks always for reading here. Your friendship means a lot.

Finding your Calling

2011-03-21T16:29:00.000-04:00

A regal lady in the Met

You know what it means when you see a photo of a statue up here. It means I've come across something that's made me think and I want to share it with all of you. I hope you will read through this post and then contribute to the conversation in the comments - I really want to know what you think!

The Marriott School Alumni Magazine published an article recently that my dear Joe encouraged me to read. Based on a campus devotional address given by Professor Jeffery Thompson, the article is called Finding Your Calling. [click the link to read the full text]. Thompson discusses the anxiety we often feel when we think about what our calling may be in this life. Did I miss it? Am I up to the task? Is there really only one way? Are you serious - this is IT? I ask myself that last one a lot. Thompson presents the misinformation (what he calls heresies) to which we often fall victim when we consider our callings in life. He then corrects them with real life examples and gospel principles.

Here are the heresies along with a few of my favorite quotes from the article:

1. You might have a calling or you might not

2. You have to find your one true calling

3. When you find your calling, work will be bliss

4. The world will celebrate your calling

Thompson discusses the challenging work of zookeepers (which is pretty much the same as mothering); how they are often underpaid and overworked but still feel a great sense of satisfaction with their work. He concludes:

The pain and sacrifice were not threats to their sense of calling - they were part of it. The work was meaningful because of the burdens.

Also:

You may do the most important, exciting work in the world, but some days will be mundane. You will be called upon to sacrifice. We can't expect deep meaningfulness from our calling unless we are willing to assume its burdens as well.

Remember that it is a heresy to believe that work is meaningful only when it gives us status.

When you focus your work first and foremost on blessing others, you will become extraordinary at what you do. You will find fulfillment and success much more reliably than if you work to get ahead.

There are not enough surfaces in my home for me to cross stitch all of these gems. But I would like to remember these principles on days when my work feels like pure drudgery. Friends, what about you? What are some of the callings you've considered for your life? What are the dreams you still hold on to? What are you doing to achieve them? What holds you back? How do you bridge the gap between dreaming big and performing the day to day necessities? I guess all these questions boil down to fulfillment. Are you fulfilled? If so, who is your therapist?

Just to get the juices flowing here's a fun list of things I'd love to be. Some are just pipe dreams, others are really going to happen:

- lounge singer

- paramedic

- ASL interpreter

- awesome gardener

- neighborhood watch lady

- community theater star

- birth photographer

- expert quilter

- zookeeper (I wanna hold baby monkeys)

- volunteer for NILMDTS

- photography mentor

- author

Fashion Friday: transitional weather

2011-03-18T10:14:00.000-04:00

Well, it certainly feels like spring, but some days are still a bit chilly. So what do you do when your heart yearns to dress for spring, but your legs beg for some protection? Ellie has your solution. Pair a short springy dress with thick tights and a long lightweight jacket. Cute and warm. Topped off with an adorable headband, Eleanor's cuteness factor is through the roof!

This is her pouty face. She's branching out.

Turns out our little fashion segment has inspired Ellie to seek our more serious modeling gigs.

I love this little girl so much! I'd try to tell you how much, but I'm afraid you wouldn't believe me.

Make it count

2011-03-16T15:11:00.000-04:00

Statue in Washington DC

Yesterday I heard a fascinating interview on The Diane Rehm Show with man named Joshua Foer, who wrote a book called Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything. The interview was basically about improving your memory and what it's like to be a memory champion. Yes, there is such a thing. Anyway, while the whole bit was interesting, the interview took a poignant turn for me when Mr. Foer uttered this little gem:

I have to say if there's one takeaway that I had from this experience of training my memory, it's not memorizing shopping lists and decks of playing cards... It's that if you want to remember something, you've got to be the kind of person who remembers to remember. You know, you can be the kind of person who throws down your keys and doesn't pay any attention and you can do that with everything in your life. You know, you can move through and not pay attention and not be mindful. But if you are going to remember your life, you're going to have a memorable life, you've got to be there, you've got to be mindful. You've got to be paying attention.

Wow. Thank you for that great reminder. I'm determined to really be here (wherever that is) and to be mindful and to make my life one worth remembering. How inspiring.

If you get a chance, you should really listen to this interview - Foer also offers up a theory as to why we feel life speeds by us so quickly, the older we get. Everyone wants to know that, right?

Recipes from me to you

2011-03-09T23:17:00.001-05:00

I have mixed feelings about March. Most of the time March makes me extremely happy - especially compared to January and February. The days start to get longer, the sun is brighter, and every once in a while there's even a warm day thrown in. It's blissful.

But then there are the other parts of March when the wind is biting cold and you feel that you will never break free of winter's cruel grasp. In an effort to be more optimistic, on these days I think, "Why don't I make a nice chili? Once spring and summer come, chili will be long gone, so I should take advantage now." And for that reason I'm sharing these two AMAZING chili recipes with you today.

Also, I feel like I should mention that these are vegetarian recipes. I mention it 1) because good veggie chili seems like an oxymoron but these recipes prove that it's not and 2) because I like to tell people I cook vegetarian meals because it makes me feel fancy and cool. Just being honest here.

Moraccan Chickpea Chili

image from here.

This is a recipe first brought to my attention by my friend Ariel and we LOVE it!

ready in 35 minutes

Ingredients

2 tsp. olive oil

1 C chopped onion

3/4 C chopped celery

1/2 C chopped carrot

1 clove minced garlic

2 tsp. ground cumin

2 tsp. paprika

1 tsp. ground ginger

1/2 tsp. ground turmeric

pinch of pepper

pinch of salt

1/8 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/8 tsp. ground red pepper

1 1/2 C water

2 Tbs. tomato paste

2 (15.5 oz) cans chickpeas (garbanzo beans), rinsed and drained

1 (14.5 oz) can no-salt-added diced tomatoes, undrained

2 Tbs. chopped fresh cilantro

1 Tbs. fresh lemon juice

Preparation

Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onion, celery, carrot and garlic to pan; sauté 5 minutes. Stir in cumin and next 7 ingredients (through red pepper); cook 1 minute, stirring constantly. Add 1 1/2 C water, tomato paste, chickpeas, and tomatoes; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 20 minutes. Stir in cilantro and juice.

* I know the ingredient list looks long, but it's mostly spices and they are so so so good! Also, a tip for success is to prepare everything before you heat up the oil. I like to combine all my spices into one small bowl and get all the canned goods opened and the veggies chopped. That way, once you start to cook it moves along very quickly.

Sweet Potato Chili Bake

This MINDBLOWING chili comes from Taste of Home.

Thanks again to the amazing Debbie Hardie!

prep time: 30 min, bake: 20 min

Ingredients

2 C cubed peeled sweet potato

1 medium sweet red pepper, chopped

1 Tbs. olive oil

1 garlic clove, minced

1 can (28 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained

2 C vegetable broth

1 can (15 oz) black beans, rinsed and drained

4 1/2 tsp. brown sugar

3 tsp. chili powder

1 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. pepper

1 package (6.5 oz) corn bread/muffin mix

1/2 C shredded cheddar cheese

Optional toppings: sour cream, shredded cheese and chopped seeded jalapeno pepper

Directions

- In an ovenproof Dutch oven, saute sweet potato and red pepper in oil until crisp-tender. Add garlic; cook 1 minute longer. Add the tomatoes, broth, beans, brown sugar, chili powder, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, for 15-20 minutes or until potatoes are tender.

- Meanwhile, prepare corn bread batter according to package directions; stir in cheese. Drop by tablespoonfuls over chili.

- Cover and bake at 400° for 18-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Serve with toppings of your choice.

*FYI - when we made this recipe we were out of chili powder so we used ground red pepper (cayenne), and just cut it in half. Boy was it spicy! But still very very good.

This weekend...

2011-03-05T11:00:00.005-05:00

I'll be spending my time with these two people. One of whom has a 5 hour GMAT prep course, the other of whom speaks very little English. I'm sure we'll make the most of it.

Above photo credit: Christy Turbow

How did I get so lucky?

Bonus: Here's a photo of Eleanor that we agree looks exactly like Joe's baby photos. What do you think Hardie Family - anyone see a little baby Joe in our baby girl?

Fashion Friday: headpieces

2011-03-04T21:48:00.001-05:00

Our interpretation of a GapBaby ad. What do you think?

Wow. Where did the week go? I realized it was Friday and time to do another feature of Eleanor's fashion bit and I was shocked to see that I haven't blogged since last week's installation. Sorry about that folks. It's been busy around here with the mothering gig and the part time photographer stuff. Add in a couple days of sunshine and there just wasn't much time for blogging. But we're here now with Ellie's fashion tip of the week: headpieces are essential.

While she usually opts to wear a colander on her head, Eleanor received a special treat from Rachel who made some adorable headbands, one of which is modeled for you today.

Please excuse the random objects in the mouth, as well as the plentiful snot and slobber.

We've got molars coming in -- enough said.

When sporting a headband, it's important to maintain your coiffure.

You can use a brush; Ellie prefers an empty lint roller.

For a more sophisticated look, Eleanor prefers baby extensions. She finishes the outfit with a fancy diaper clutch and comfy shoes. This babe is ready for a night on the town!

Fashion Friday: brassiere couture

2011-02-25T08:00:00.000-05:00

We're starting a new segment around these parts. Fashion Friday! Every week you can get tips from the trendiest babe in NYC and check out all of her fashion forward choices. And to kick it off - an idea Ellie came up with all on her own.

We call it brassiere couture. Don't you just love it?

It's really quite comfortable if you can just figure out how to get the dang thing on.

Now, this is not a look everyone can pull off.

But Eleanor is daring YOU to give it a try!

Beardfest 2011

2011-02-23T08:00:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, I actually participate in a few activities that don't involve toddlers. I know, it's a shocker. So, what do we do on a night out with the girls? Maybe we sneak down to Brooklyn, hit up a bar, and scope out some bearded cuties. Don't judge. Leslie's face says it all:

It was magical.

Beardfest 2011

bearded music

bearded wares

even bearded women

I want to be this cool. I wish I wish I wish.

Of course the highlight of the evening is the beard and mustache competition.

I had no idea facial hair could compete in so many categories.

A few of the favorites for your viewing pleasure.

To the man above: your beard is NOT the first the I notice.

To the man below: I think my husband is the only man in the WORLD cuter than you.

There were a few heartbreaking face-offs. But in the end, a victor emerged.

That, my friends, is the face of triumph.

Here are the faces of my best bearded friends forever. BBFF.

Erin channels her inner seductress.

Anna channels her inner french man.

Leslie channels her inner Wario.

Oh yes, thanks to Leslie's blog you can also enjoy this photo of yours truly

channeling her inner creep.

Beardfest 2011 - it's a lot like the Miss America pageant, minus the talent and swimsuits.

Ellie at 13 months

2011-02-22T22:13:00.001-05:00

So, I blinked and my sweet girl grew up! I am shocked at how much Ellie has changed lately. She's actually 14 months old right now, but I realized that these are the only photos I have of her 13th month so I thought I'd share them. Heaven knows she'll be completely different in another short month.

At 13 months old Ellie was a walking fool and super talkative. Her hair grew at an astounding rate. Every object was a phone to her. She started experimenting with dress ups. She clapped after commercials. She charmed me every day.

Is that MY daughter posing for the camera? I'm bursting with pride.

Work it Ellie!

**A note to other moms trying to photograph their children: It's gotten extremely hard to photograph Eleanor lately. Not only is she obsessed with grabbing the camera (and thus drops whatever she's doing the moment she sees it) but she's also very fast. I finally discovered a way to turn her obsession to my advantage. When I want photos of her I put her on one side of the room and I run to the other side and jump up on the couch. As she runs toward me I aim the camera at her and fire away. When she gets to me I run to the other side of the room and continue shooting. Repeat, repeat, repeat until she loses interest and starts acting natural or I get enough frames I like.

That's a little tip for free - remember, you heard it here first.

Valentine's Weekend: a photo essay

2011-02-14T11:13:00.002-05:00

love of food

love of self

(Ellie embraces her new-found curves and luscious hair)

love of art

love of spouse

love of family

Could there be a better Valentine's celebration? No, there could not.

Birthday Party Re-cap

2011-02-11T11:18:00.001-05:00

Well, as you all remember we had a birthday party for Eleanor back in December. I could say that I'm sharing these photos for the benefit of friends and family who were not able to attend. But in the spirit of full disclosure I'm going to admit that I'm putting these photos up because I put a lot of work into this party and if I don't blog it, it just feels wasted. Twisted? I know. So here are some details and action shots from the rocking-est first birthday ever!

Menu items: Cupcakes, sausage pinwheels, pierogis, veggie platter, lemon water. Classy food for a classy girl. I am not a cupcake master and thus will be purchasing them in years to come.

The Lee twins came to celebrate and I appreciated not only their attendance, but also that Bethany dressed to match the theme of the party.

After the cupcake consumption, Ellie required an outfit change.

Uncle Carl and Aunt Becca stole the show with THE perfect gift. Ellie wouldn't let go of it all day. She had places to go and people to see.

Seriously, do not try to take the stroller, even for a "best friends photo."

And here we have photographic evidence that I actually did attend my daughter's first birthday party. Thanks Debi! I'm the one on the left, kneeling with the giant camera. I wonder if that is how Ellie will remember me - the person who ruined all the fun moments of her childhood by saying, "OK, now look over here." "Just one more."

Aaaahh, I am my mother's daughter. At the end of the day I think to myself, "Well, at least I got the photo."

A self-discovery (about myself)

2011-02-08T23:55:00.002-05:00

I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. Is this good or bad? I have no idea. Is it healthy? I have a long line of family history that tells me it’s not. And yet, it remains the reality around here. ALL or NOTHING. Is it possible that two different people live inside my one body?

Figure 1:

Yesterday I did EVERYTHING, people! I cleaned this apartment top to bottom. The tub was shining (without help from Photoshop thank-you-very-much), the bed made, the baby’s clothes sorted and reorganized, the floors swept, the couch stains treated. I bathed the baby, cooked homemade soup for dinner, planned a great Family Home Evening lesson, kissed the husband on my way out the door, picked up a sister from the ward, had people over for the previously mentioned FHE, and later collapsed in bed (still twitching from my manic day of accomplishing things)

Figure 2:

Today I felt tired from yesterday’s excitement. So what did I do? NOTHING. I had a generous helping of valentine’s candy for breakfast (thanks Grandma Hardie), I scoured Hulu for anything remotely interesting and proceeded to watch it. I read when I wanted to and napped when I wanted to. I remained pajama clad and bra-less until 2pm (too much?) The baby was clothed and fed proper meals, but she was also allowed to pull her step stool right up to the computer desk and watch all the TV she wanted. What a transformation - yesterday I was June Cleaver and today I’m a bona fide sloth!

Conclusions:

1. Balance is not my strong point.

2. Being obsessive is exhausting. (for days afterward)

3. Kit-Kats for breakfast are guilt inducing but oh-so-good.

4. A little bit of crazy keeps life interesting.

If you read this entire wordy post about me analyzing my inner self, you may now enjoy these photos of Eleanor covered in her dinner.

Please tell me that you're a little crazy too!

Virtual Window Shopping

2011-02-08T15:17:00.002-05:00

Old Navy is having a huge sale right now on their baby clothes. I love browsing online and dreaming of how cute Ellie will look in all kinds of different styles. Here are some favorites. It's true I have a thing for stripes - I do not deny it.

And now let us mourn the ones that got away. I hesitated, and Ellie's size sold out of the adorable styles below. The internet lets out a collective sigh.